GentlyWeeping

Man its been a freaking long time since i last blogged.
Sometimes life just has too much stuff going that putting it into words just doesn;t give justice to whatever thats been happening.
So why am i blogging now at this unearthly hour? honestly i dunno. Must we always have a reason for doing something?
It would seem that in trying to make sense of our lives we can't escape the urge to search for a cause and effect, but don;t things happen out of coincidence sometimes. By searching for reasons in everything, aren't we then over analysing and over complicating matters?
If you really start to think, what is reason? what can rationality and reason achieve? ultimately it would seem that there is no reason for anything except that something happens purely because it happens or that you choose for it to happen, and that there is no rational reason for that choice that you make.

I was walking home at about 1 last night, after a freaking long meeting for my damn marketing module, and well on my way home there was this man, had to be at least 70, hunched over carrying two large plastic bags full of stuff.

And then you know altruristic feelings started to emerge within me, like hey maybe i should help this man out. I mean i felt that at 70, i wldn;t want to be out at 1 am lugging plastic bags full of stuff, hell i shld be home with ppl looking after me. Well it would have been really great i guess if i really did go help that man out, but then of course there is always this invisible force that seems to stop one from doing something of this sort- what if he thinks i trying to rob him? can he understand me if i spoke to him? maybe he doesn;t need help? and all sort of this kind shit

and then i started to wonder ( like real only), if ppl were able help people regardless of any situation, help someone with the firm belief that even if our help were to be rejected it would be alrite, wld the world then be an easier place to live in. Its amazing how people are willing to sacrifice everything for an ideal, yet choose not to do anything about the most apparent conditions of others next to them.

201 tutorial is cool man, nothing jolts the old noodle like some old school philosophy

people tend to seek happiness, but happiness is only a feeling... am i then living my life for a feeling which undoubtably has to do with some chemical reaction in my body
so then when u deconstuct it, aren;t you then living your life for a release of some hormone or chemical or whatever on to your nerve receptors

deconstucting makes everything seem so insignificant