GentlyWeeping

(too lazy to write anything)

I finally got myself down to read the book i borrowed from the library the other week, Paul Ginsborg's The politics of Everyday life, rather good book that kinda reminded me of this conversation i had with my friend Joe Han a few weeks ago.

Joe Han had just returned from England for the summer break and he was recounting about this incident he had with his friend back there.
Well the story goes like this, he was with his friend trying to get back to newcastle or something from london, and Joe Han was like lets catch a flight, faster more convenient and stuff, but his friend was like no, we should take the train which is a less polluting way of transportation. OF course like most people educated in singapore his typical reply was wth, the plane is going to fly anyway whats the difference, but his friend replied that its not really the calculability or the need for your actions to make a significant impact but rather the attitude in which you carry out your actions.

I guess it really struck me, sometimes its really about the attitude to go about and actually try and do something and to not let yourself fall into an apathetic indifferent state that seems to hold us back from even attempting to try to make a difference.
What Gramsci calls 'molecular processes', every little action can make a difference, all we need to do now really is just to get of our ass.

Ever been awake yet not feel fully awake, like your body is moving around but somehow your soul is still snoozing at home??
well i had one of those days today, the whole journey to work and at work was just this fuzzy period in time, it was as if i was on autopilot and my body was merely following this predetermined course trying to complete a series of tasks that would lead me to ultimately attaining a day's wage.

the lack of mental stimulus and motivation is really killing me.....denigrating what is human in me to something akin to a machine...

can we truly say we are alive then when we just go about our tasks with little mental effort, how are we then different from a supposed non-living thing, for wouldn;t one say that a machine is alive too for it too performs specific tasks each day.

and so now i become critical of the capitalist machinery..... and i rant and rant and i critique and i think i know what is the correct way to do something... but then again seeing what is wrong with something does not equate to knowing how to correct it....

feeling lost and empty....